Shifting schools not pleasant

Shifting schools not pleasant for most kids

Especially for students who shift to a school in another city altogether, it’s more difficult for teenagers to adjust than younger kids

Rito Paul

Emil Xavier, now 28, moved schools at the age of 14. It was quite a cultural shock, moving from Chennai to Kolkata. To top that, he was moving to a Jesuit school with its own set of rules and rituals. “It was incredibly tough. For the first few days, everyone was really friendly. I guess it was because I was a novelty, and the other children were curious. But after a couple of months, after they’d found out everything about me, they just lost interest. Suddenly no one paid any attention to me. If they did mark my presence, it was only to make fun of my accent.” Xavier says that he didn’t make a single friend in his new school that he’s continues to stay in touch with today.     Moving schools can turn out to be a tough experience for students. And contrary to what people might think, the older the student is, tougher it is adapt. Rhea Tembhekar, head psychologist at Coffee Counselling explains. “If the child is very young, then the level of social awareness and social consciousness is low. The child’s bonding with school friends is probably not that strong at a very young age. But for teenagers, it becomes a whole different ballgame,” she says. According to Tembhekar, teenagers have much stronger social bonds with their friends and to suddenly be transported in to a new environment can be a daunting challenge. “A teenager is trying to find his/her place in the world in any case. Insecurities and doubts plague teenagers. In addition to that, to try and make new friends in an alien school environment can be quite tough. Especially if the child has moved to a school in an entirely different state,” she adds.     Moving schools in the same city is an easier proposition, according to Tembhekar. “The child can still meet his/her old friends over the weekends or even during the week. Their home, their neighbours remain the same so the alienation is not as much as for a child who has moved to a new state.” Tembhekar narrates the incident of a teenager who’d joined a posh Mumbai school from a small town. He wasn’t very proficient in spoken English and had a bit of an accent. This became a sore point for the boy, whose school mates would tease him about what they perceived as a deficiency. “It got so bad that he had to take counselling.”     Tembhekar suggests that if parents feel that the child is not fitting well in the new school environment then they should spend more time with them. “The attention deficit in school can, to a certain extent, be compensated by the parent. Also parents should make an effort to enroll the child in sporting clubs and hobby classes so that s/he has a chance to interact with kids of a similar age outside school,” she says. Schools and teachers, Tembhekar suggests, also have a role to play in the settling in of a child, but they have their limitations. “Teachers can’t give a new child the attention that they might need. Also too much attention from the teacher can lead to further alienation within the peer-group.”     Ophelia Barreto, principal of Podar International School (SSC) says that in her school new children are always introduced by the teacher and themselves in front of the class. “We also encourage other students to ask questions to the new student. It helps break the ice. We also sometimes make use of a ‘buddy’ system, where an existing student is asked to make friends with the new arrival and guide him/her through the first few days of school,” she says.    Tembhekar says that how well a child settles in a new school is also dependant on the personality of the child. “There are some children who are naturally outgoing and sociable. These children find it easier to make friends and might not have problems fitting in. However, there are those who might be a little more socially circumspect; these children need some attention and guidance to make the transition a bit easier for them.”

Published Date:  Jun 24, 2012     Courtesy (visited 12.7.12) http://epaper.dnaindia.com/story.aspx?id=20603&boxid=26669820&ed_date=2012-06-24&ed_code=820009&ed_page=4